Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It is not all about you

An overriding theme in our society today is avoiding responsibility and passing the buck. No one wants to admit they are at fault. If I lose a business deal or make a bad investment, someone else is at fault and I need to sue someone for damages. If my child doesn't achieve in school, it is the teacher's fault, or the school system. If I drive too fast on the freeway and get a ticket, it is the fault of the police officer who stopped me. If I eat too much and get grossly over weight, it is the fault of the fast food companies.

Advertisements make this attitude easy to acquire; you deserve a break today; you need...; you, you, you. Very little, if anything about responsibility, honesty, integrity, balance, sharing, loving your neighbor as yourself.

As a practicing trial attorney, I cannot tell you how many lawsuits I have seen where the client states, "Its not the money, its the principle of the the thing..." Get real, its the money. As soon as the cost of the lawsuit reaches really outstanding proportions, the same client will start to blame the attorney for filing the lawsuit in the first place, saying,"You told me I would win, you told me it wouldn't cost more than ..." Sure, I told my client that he would win!! I can tell you, without reservation, I have never told a client they would win in my entire life. The attorney does not control the court, the jury or the other side's attorneys. It is the client's attitude that someone else is always at fault that creates this conflict. In home defects cases, it is not too unusual for the attorneys' fees to exceed the cost of repairs and sometimes the value of the house.

It is not about me. It is about you and all of us. The only real joy and happiness in life come from breaking away from thoughts of "me" and thinking about the needs and wants of others. Joy and happiness come from serving rather than being served, from helping, rather than being helped. How about do unto others as you would have them do unto you? How about taking responsibility for your own decisions and making the best of them? How about stop blaming your parents, your genes, your third grade teacher and everyone else and just get over it. Take your losses and get on with life. Bloom where you are planted and don't become a weed.

1 comment:

  1. That's a great post. It reminds me of one of the main messages of Terry Warner's Bonds that make us free.